No es bueno

I sat in front of two "Bros" in my Spanish class today. They spent half the class looking up different ways to say "my girlfriend's hot" on google translator, and the other half trying to look up different ways to say "I have a fat dick." I really don't want to become a cynic. I don't want to be a blind optimist either, but cynicism is a disease that slowly rots the humanity out of a person. It is just so damn hard to be anything but when faced against "tengo un pene de grassa."

Eh

It's 4:15 am right now. I haven't slept. I think I'm writing this to avoid doing something stupid, like texting my ex. I'm a little bit down right now. I just found out that it's going to take an extra semester before I graduate. This doesn't seem like that big a problem, and it isn't really. It's just sort of demoralizing. I've grown to hate school. I can't stand the students, I feel too old and too cynical to carry on any sort of conversation with any of them. I don't like that feeling. I never wanted to feel old and cynical. Mainly it's the cynicism that bothers me. It's too damned late to be awake. These are the times that I miss having someone to lay next to in bed. There's so much comfort to be found in a woman's warm body pressed up against your own. The feeling of her resting heart, beating through her cotton tee, and her slowing breath, puffing out onto my chest, was able to trick my soul into believing that great lie we always tell each other whenever the world starts pushing down: everything's going to be alright, everything's fine. I miss that comfort tonight.

Insanity

If insanity is the norm, then crazy people would have to be considered sane. So, I've been thinking about checking myself into an insane asylum in order to protest the insanity of the entire world. I just had a man walk into the liquor store I work at, and ask me to recommend a good drink for his daughter. His daughter was with him. She couldn't have been older than ten. I sold him a bottle of non-alcoholic margarita mix. I don't understand what's wrong with people. The human race has been won. The winner was psychotic. He now represents all of humanity.

Follow up

Three beers is all it took to get me drunk tonight. I used to be able to drink three double jack and cokes before feeling like this. I kind of miss my old tolerance level, but not what it took to reach it. Oh well. Drunken ramblings tonight.

Worth noting that I am slightly inebriated as I make this post. Only slightly though.

Why'd the waitress keep smiling at me? She didn't do that with the other guys. At least I don't think she did. She was probably after a nice tip. I gave her a nice tip too. Damn it. The waitress beat me. I've been thinking about writing about the reasoning behind wearing headphones constantly, while walking around campus. So, here goes: it's the equivalent of rolling up the windows when driving by a landfill. So many of my fellow students words only ever amount to garbage. Pretentious garbage sometimes, but still just garbage. Sometimes I wonder if, at the end of my life, I'll be able to count anyone as my friend besides dear old lonesomeness. Damn! I'm tired, and I work early tomorrow. I should get some sleep. It's already two hours later than I intended to stay up. To stay out. Good night.